• 100 Days of Good Karma: Day 17 (I *heart* Caffeine)

    Caffeine deprived

    Monday, July 28, 2014

    Day 17 of 100 Days of Good Karma.

    Today I was given instructions to follow a high-protein/restricted carbohydrates diet in preparation for the scan tomorrow.

    The instructions for the test gave meal examples.

    “Breakfast: 2 eggs – any style…”

    I read this thinking:  okay.  I’m good with eggs.

    “…bacon or sausage…”

    I nodded to myself.  Bacon and sausage… good, good.

    “…decaffeinated black coffee or water.”


    Wait one goddamn minute.

    What. Is. That. Word?


    Is this a joke?

    I can’t have coffee?

    I threw the instructions down on the counter and fell to the floor kicking and screaming.  The kids backed away slowly, their eyes wide  and frightened.

    Then I called my doctor’s office and cancelled the scan.

    “F*ck this,” I told them.  “F*ck you. F*ck your stupid scan. F*ck cancer.  F*ckity, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!!”

    And then I went back to bed.

    Because my day just doesn’t happen without coffee.

    Today’s silver lining:  Just kidding about the phone call to the doctor’s office cancelling the scan. 

    The rest of it is true.

    What’s your silver lining today?  I love comments!


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19 Responsesso far.

  1. Pam says:

    Um, how are you making a cancer blog FUNNY?!??

    BTW, I completely agree about the importance of caffeine. the other silver lining: you’ll feel so sleepy and irritable that the scan might not seem quite as bad.

    I’m thinking about you today — every day, but especially today.


  2. Pat Sincox says:

    Sounds to me like someone has had a bit too much caffeine in their diet heretofore….talk about withdrawals!!

  3. Michale Bauer says:

    Meghan, you are too funny!!! I’m sending good thoughts and prayers your way, especially today. After the test I can imagine you’ll head to the nearest coffee shop and order the largest coffee ever. Have you heard of Starbucks Plenta size? It’s 128 fl oz!!! Check out their announcement on April 1, 2010 (aka April Fools Day): http://www.starbucks.com/blog/starbucks-listens-to-customer-request-for-more-sizes. You have to see their promotional photos to appreciate it!

    Okay — my silver lining for Monday … I was asked if I could babysit for a couple of days next week. It’s not official yet, but I think I might have the job!

    • Meghan says:

      I had an enormous breakfast with several strong cups of coffee. And, magically, I was human again. Woo hoo on the new job!! 🙂

  4. pwsquare says:

    LOL! I understand!

  5. Leslee says:

    LMFAO! I know how much you love your coffee! You told me once in Dilley that you don’t drink it for yourself, you drink it for us!

  6. Rene says:

    Lol. Just Lol! 🙂
    Because I recall meetings with Meghan and her coffee cup.

  7. Oh, man how funny. I subbed chocolate for caffeine so I’d know the emotional upheaval you had to go through (since I’m no caffeine handicapped…or wait, is that handiable?)

  8. Erin Miller says:

    Well it’s the little things in life that keep you going, but please keep on going. Coffee, well, just not THAT important, but I get it:)

    • Meghan says:

      There was some suggestion today to limit my caffeine intake. Looks like I might have to learn to like decaf. One more reason to hate cancer. *sigh*

  9. […] might have been the fasting hunger, or (more likely) my lack of caffeine that set me […]

  10. Cindy Smith says:

    I love my coffee too! just can’t start the day without it. Everyone around me at work knows I need my coffee first thing and they all know which cup is mine. Poor Thomas has even gone to the store at 11 pm at night including last night on his way back from the hospital at 2:45 am (because his mom was admitted yesterday and they had to wait for a room) to get me my coffee because we were out! I feel your pain of having to drink decaffeinated coffee (I mean really, what’s the point of unleaded coffee??). I’ve been told the same on more than a couple of occasions and well, I do it for a test and argue with the dr on everything else. I try to be good in other areas and it’s not like I have 40 cups a day like some folks I’m sure we’ve both seen at work (not you, of course!).

    I’m making a list of all of the can’t have’s so once you have kicked this thing to the curb, we can enjoy some of the “can have’s” together! I love our new neighbors, but miss having you guys next door! It’s been too long since we have gotten together…..

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