• 100 Days of Good Karma: Day 20 (Three!!!)

    hope

    Thursday, July 31, 2014

    Day 20 of 100 Days of Good Karma.

    (Where to begin?)

    Today was a good day. 

    (Not strong enough.)

    Today was a great day.

    (Still not right.)

    *drums fingers on keyboard*

    (Wait.  I know.  This.)

    Today’s silver lining:  Today I learned to hope again.

    Have you ever surprised yourself by taking a breath without even realizing you were holding it?

    Today, I felt like I took my first breath in twenty days.

    I have been wrestling with so many unknowns, but we had the biggest of those unknowns answered today:  The PET scan results showed the cancer has not spread.

    It is not in my brain.

    It is not in my bones.

    It is not in my lungs or my heart or my liver.

    It is not Stage Four.

    It is Stage Three and so still curable.

    Read that again.  Read it slow.

    It puts a big, fat smile on your face, doesn’t it?

    It does for me.

    Cancer is still scary and I know there is a fight ahead, but at least now there is a plan to deal with it.

    The Plan:

    • I will have a port placed Monday.
    • The first round of chemotherapy starts on Tuesday.
    • This first round is once a week for twelve weeks.
    • The second round of chemotherapy starts after the first round ends.
    • The second round is once every three weeks for twelve weeks.
    • There will be a month to recover and deal with surgery.
    • After surgery there will be radiation.
    • After radiation there will be estrogen blocking pills for at least five years.

    I don’t remember how long the doctor said radiation would last.  Up until that point in the conversation I could barely plan ahead for dinner, let alone think six months from now.  I think she said it was twelve weeks, but I’d be lying if I said I was certain.

    The type and extent of surgery has not been determined yet.  My doctors need to see how the cancer responds to chemotherapy first.  Also there is the results of the genetic test still pending.

    (By the way, Christy, you don’t have to wear Isaac’s hat to work.  Your counterparts at MD Anderson were very informative and I definitely learned a more than one new thing about genetics today.)

    But I have six months to figure the surgery piece out.

    I know there is still a long road ahead, and the hard moments are not over.

    But today…

    Today we celebrate.

    What’s your silver lining today?  I love comments!

    xoxo,
    Meghan

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34 Responsesso far.

  1. Leah Senona says:

    Big smile on my face and happy tears in my eyes right now. I’m thrilled for you!

  2. Tyler Smith says:

    Fantastic news! This should be your new official theme song:

  3. Michale Bauer says:

    Meghan, today we smile and cry for joy! Not knowing is so scary. Now you know what’s ahead. Take it one day at a time and you’ll get through this C-Free!

  4. Mom says:

    You, my dear daughter, are my silver lining! Not just for today, but for always. You make me laugh, cry, you scare me but yet, you are you and I am proud of every inch of you. Thank you for taking the time to talk to Dad too! You are GREAT!
    Lubba, Lubba You, Mom

  5. Leslee says:

    So happy! THREE! I’m giving you a great bug hug, along with a huge sigh if relief! God is Hope!! Lu

  6. Phil or Paul or BEAVO (I answer to all 3) says:

    Wooooohoooooooooo. ……… bacon, beer and wine for everyone! I am so happy for you Meghan with an H. You have been in my thoughts and prayers constantly. What a relief for you, your family, and friends. Yes, it will be a long road, however your friends and family are always here to support you. My silver lining is this awesome news! Have a wonderful weekend.

  7. That is great news and now theres a plan to follow so you can get on with your life and plan ahead!! You are in my prayers daily.
    Luv U
    Auntie Minute

  8. Kristel says:

    I’ve been thinking about your analysis that you should get super powers from all this. I agree. I think when you get to the point where they ask you what kind of fake boobs you want, you should order a pair of “machine gun jubblies” as Austin Powers would call them. And maybe lasers that shoot out of them too. That would be a nice added touch. I’m sure insurance will cover that, right?

    On a more serious note, I only just caught up with the fact that this was going on in your life. I feel obtuse for me taking 20 days to notice that your 100 days of good karma was not just about inner peace.

    It’s funny how life gets busy. Chuck and I say often, oh we should get to Texas and see Meghan and Justin some time. Then of course 5 billion other things happen and we don’t get there. 😛

    Well I love your blog. I’ll be following it more closely for sure!
    Live Long and Prosper my friend,
    hugs
    Kristel

    • Meghan says:

      I’m picturing my surgeon’s face when I ask for ‘machine gun jubblies’. Priceless! And no worries about the lag. I totally understand how time gets away from us all. Virtual Vulcan hugs back. 🙂

  9. Pam says:

    You don’t know me but I’m following your cancer story right along with my Mom’s. She received her breast cancer diagnosis two weeks ago and we’re still waiting for a few details and a treatment plan. So far it looks like Stage 2, but we’ll know for sure in two weeks.

    So happy to hear about your silver lining today, and please know I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Meghan says:

      Thank you, Pam and welcome to the blog! I’m very sorry to hear about your mom’s cancer diagnosis. Not a one of us wants to be in this fight, but since we are, we might as well not be alone in it. I don’t know what the coming weeks will be like for me, but I know first hand how glad I am to have a plan in place. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but she will feel better when she has a plan. The waiting part is SO hard. Tell your mom to hang in there, and that it’s okay to cry or to laugh or to feel any damn way she wants to right now because this is her party. Having this blog to work on every day has made this waiting period so much more bearable. I hope your mom can find the joy in something, too. *hugs* ~Meghan

  10. Pam says:

    I stumbled across your 100-days-of-good-karma posts on the day we learned my lovely Mom has breast cancer. The doctors are waffling between Stage 2 or 3 until the last test comes back and we’ve heard about all the options for treatment but there’s no firm plan yet. It was so encouraging to read about your silver lining today! I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Here’s to lots more silver linings!

    • Meghan says:

      Hi, Pam! I’m so glad you found the blog! A new cancer diagnosis is so scary. Being on the lookout for the silver lining in each day helped me. No matter how small, there’s always been at least one reason to smile. ~Meghan

  11. Annette says:

    My mother in law always tells me that “you need a plan”. This is great news. I think about you everyday and to quote Aretha Franklin, “I Say a Little Prayer”. Lots of love, Cousin A

  12. Monica says:

    Happy to hear that it’s curable! You’ve got a battle ahead of you, but you can do it!

    • Meghan says:

      It’ll definitely be a fight. Maybe I should have paid more attention when my brother played Mortal Kombat when we were kids. Some of those moves might have come in handy in the next few months. 😉

  13. Rene says:

    “It is Stage Three and so still curable.

    Read that again. Read it slow.

    It puts a big, fat smile on your face, doesn’t it?”

    Absolutely! I did smile and I cried then smiled again. 🙂
    Then I was thinking all these meaningful things to type and can’t seem to make them come out right. I’m still praying for you. We need girls lunch out!

    • Meghan says:

      That’s okay. All my words come out wrong the first time, too. Hence the name of the blog. Prayers are always welcome and a big ‘yes!’ to the girls’ lunch. 🙂

  14. Lori Carreon says:

    So glad it had not spread! That’s the best news and my silver lining for the day!!!!

  15. PAt Sincox says:

    I was out Friday (as usual), so I missed this note. This is really, really, really good news. Pat is happy, happy, happy. I can breathe again…….

  16. Yvonne Trejo says:

    Meghan, thinking about you!! So very happy to read this :). Love your awesome blog! So many of us are cheering you on in the background! Big hugs, Yvonne

  17. epbj says:

    I had to refer back to this timeline – It’s my hope that you can at least get through the next 12 weeks on your current insurance, with little to no hiccups. Mid-late January…

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