Friday, August 1, 2014
Day 21 of 100 Days of Good Karma.
Today was a good day.
A really good day.
The relief of having a plan in place is immeasurable.
My friends are probably reading this and nodding, no doubt thinking of the lengthy To Do lists I’m always scribbling in my day planner.
Cancer is still the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night, but maybe it won’t always be that way.
Today my friend Pam went with me to my pre-op appointment in preparation for the port placement on Monday morning. After a quick blood draw (I’m beginning to feel like a pin cushion) we were out of there.
I asked Pam if she had some spare time. She said yes and I told her what I wanted to do.
Today’s silver lining: Wig shopping with Pam.
We went to a local wig and mastectomy shop and, holy cow, I got an education.
Mannequin heads lined the walls of the shop displaying hair of every color and length. The heads were a little creepy (okay a lot creepy), but the hair was so cool!
There were human hair wigs and synthetic wigs. Before I walked into the shop, I pictured synthetic wigs as what you buy in a Halloween store.
I was sorely mistaken. The synthetic wigs looked just as real as my own hair.
Pam told me that synthetic wigs don’t last as long as human hair wigs, but they are easier to wear because they require less work. Human hair wigs have to be styled whereas the style in synthetic wigs stays the way you buy it.
The sales lady that worked with me told me she’d just finished her own cancer treatment. Her description of her chemotherapy regimen sounded very similar to mine. She said she initially picked a wig with long layers, but then switched to a wig with bangs because her eyebrows and eyelashes fell out and the bangs made her feel more comfortable with how she looked.
I appreciated her telling me her story. She was clearly a very shy woman. She said she never let anyone see her bald, even her own mother.
This made me sad.
Cancer takes so much from us. Not only does it steal our peace of mind during the day and our sleep at night, it can destroy our self esteem.
I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to lose my hair either. Just because I have cancer doesn’t mean I’m magically at peace with the physical changes that are about to happen to my body. I’m still a human being.
I’ve had a shit-ton of hair my whole life. I didn’t realize how integral my hair was to my self image until I stood a chance of losing it.
I realize losing my hair (and potentially eyebrows and eyelashes) is the lesser of two evils, but it’s still a hard pill to swallow, and my heart went out to that brave sales lady for sharing her own story with two total strangers.
I haven’t bought anything yet because I want to see what my insurance covers first, but I’m actually looking forward to wig shopping.
I’m planning on getting at least two.
One for every-day use.
And a pink one.
If I have to have cancer, and I have to go bald, by God, I am going to rock a pink wig.
Besides, I hear breast cancer hates the color pink.
What’s your silver lining today? I love comments!