Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Day 26 of 100 Days of Good Karma.
Today I was slow and sleepy. My brain has been wrapped in a fog.
I woke up at 5:15 for no particular reason. I just couldn’t get back to sleep.
My oncologist encouraged me to cut back on caffeine, so I switched to half-caff, but I might as well have not bothered with it at all. I barely wanted it this morning.
I haven’t been nauseous, but food hasn’t looked very appealing today. I’ll get hungry, take a couple of bites of something and then I just don’t want it anymore.
I took a nap around 10 and I felt better afterwards then later on in the evening I felt myself slowing down again.
I noticed I’m more sensitive to smell today. The kids wanted donuts so I loaded them up in the car. The smell of the donut shop is normally pleasant. Today the smell of warm food was just averting.
The fatigue so far reminds me a lot of the first trimester of pregnancy. During those first few months I could nap at the drop of a hat. That’s how I feel now.
Today’s silver lining: Got the results of the genetic test back. I am negative for a mutation in the BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 genes.
I’ll have to discuss it with my surgeon, but this means I might be able to keep one breast.
Even now, after twenty six days of wrestling with this monster it still feels weird to think of losing a body part.
I catch myself wondering what that will be like. Will I get phantom itches on a nipple I no longer have?
But if by losing it, that means I stand a better chance of watching my children grow up, I’ll take it.
Thank you everyone who has called or texted or checked in somehow. I appreciate your support and love more than I can express.
What’s your silver lining today? I love comments!