• 100 Days of Good Karma: Day 92 (Plans are Made to Change)

     

    cloud

    Saturday, October 12, 2014

    Day 92 of 100 Days of Good Karma.

    The skies were dark and the clouds were threatening rain, but I put on my shoes and went out for a run anyway. I was restless and running helps me clear away the mental clutter.

    I wanted to sort out what to do with this blog once the 100 days are over. I know I said I had a plan in “what comes next?” but the more I think about it the more I don’t like that plan. Posting every day is a habit now, a good one, and losing it makes me a little sad.

    The air outside my front door was still and sticky. The humidity clinging like a wet wool blanket pulled out of the dryer too soon. The puffs of air moving the tree branches was only a nod toward a real breeze.

    I set out, adjusting my pace for the heat. This adjustment took me from ‘slow’ down to ‘turtle’, but kept going anyway. I needed to move.  Needed to think.

    I had just rounded the first corner, ready to do my ‘long loop’, when I spotted the cloud.

    I thought, Is that what I think it is?

    The wind was moving a little better now and I could see it pushing the cloud into an ominous tube-like shape.

    I pulled out my phone and snapped the picture you see at the top of this post. I studied the picture as if the real life version on the horizon was not to be believed.

    Yup. That’s exactly what I think it is.

    I debated on the long route versus the short route.

    I still hadn’t decided what I wanted to do with the blog and the long route was better for thinking. But the long route took me further from home and right toward that cloud.

    The short route wasn’t as great for problem-solving, but it got me home and away from the angry looking cloud quickly.

    With a pang of regret, I set my feet toward the shorter route. I’d just have to think fast today.

    As I ran, I listened to the cicadas buzz in the trees. A sound that, I swear, always makes a hot day seem hotter. I distracted myself from the heat with a question and answer session.

    Q: Is another 100 days sustainable?

    A: You’ve been doing it for over 90 days now. I think that proves sustainability.

    Q: Isn’t it presumptuous to think this will show the beginning and end of my cancer journey?

    A: Well, you’ll never really know if the cancer will come back, but that uncertainty isn’t a good enough reason to quit a good habit.

    Q: But what if I can’t come up with something to write every day?

    A: You’ve already proven you can work through that, too.

    Q: Will I have time?

    A: Really?  This excuse is laughable.  Your main job these days is feeding the kids, doing laundry and making sure you’re home in time for your afternoon nap.

    Q: But what if chemo makes me too sick to write?

    A: How is the uncertainty of starting a new drug any different than when you started this drug?  Bad days are bound to happen.  Just plan ahead and have some topics waiting in the wings.

    Q: But what am I going to call it?

    A: Again, really?  This is what’s stopping you?  Call it 100DaysOfSilverLinings.  Or just keep with the existing theme and call it Another100daysofgoodkarma. Who cares? This is not a good reason not to do it.

    I was about a mile from home when the clouds started spitting rain. I picked up the pace and mentally ticked off the reasons that I should continue.

    • It’s an amazing outlet.
    • And it keeps me focused on what’s important.
    • It’s a good way to not make ten thousand phone calls. People know how I’m doing because they can go look at the blog.
    • I like the idea of having this documented. It’s something for the kids to read someday.

    I walked up my driveway, sweaty and ready for air conditioning.  One last glance at the sky showed that the clouds had blown away to the west. The storm that had been threatening all morning never materialized.

    I tried to summarize my thoughts and had to admit the scales were tipping in favor of continuing daily posts for another 100 days.

    And for some reason, I still haven’t committed to the idea entirely. Something about it is still bothering me, but I can’t pin it down.

    Today’s silver lining:  I’m sure I’ll figure it out the next time I get to do the long loop.

    What’s your silver lining today?  I love comments!

    xoxo,
    Meghan

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10 Responsesso far.

  1. Pam says:

    YES!!! do Another 100 Days. Please.

    I love reading your blog every day. As a writing friend, I’m amazed by how much your already excellent writing has improved through this process. I can’t wait for you to start writing sci-fi and horror again, but I so love the blog.

    YES.
    P

  2. Kyla says:

    Hey cuz, why don’t you call it “My days of kicking cancer to the CURB!” You are such a strong person and all of US who look forward to reading your blog daily are inspired by YOU! Just wanted to tell you that I love you and I think of you and those two wonderful children that you have been blessed with.

  3. Tina Smith says:

    I’ve been thinking about the end of 100DayOfGoodKarma, too. See, after it’s done you’ll still have cancer and my parents are no where near a new house. For me, I did all my posts on Facebook and I’m not sure how well it worked at times.

    I’m excited to see what you’ll do next. I think you’re right to keep going and not thinking of a name is not an excuse to not do it!

    Here are some of my ideas (which you don’t have to take, but I find when I brainstorm against someone the right title evolves eventually).

    I was thinking since your blog is called Getting the Words Wrong that your project could be called “Finding the Right Words”

    Here are some other ideas:

    Daily Dose of Positive Thinking
    SilverLinings 101
    Or just: 100SilverLinings (also shorter than putting in the “Days Of” part)

    Okay, hope that sparked some good ideas!

  4. Jill says:

    I vote for more!!! 🙂

  5. Cindy Smith says:

    More please! How about 200 Days of Karma? Keep up the good writing!

  6. marriannad says:

    I don’t know you and you don’t know me. We’ll probably never meet in person. All that being said, I thought I’d chime in to let you know that I hope you continue to blog on a daily basis. Why? Maybe I’ll get motivated to do the same with my own blog. As for a name for the next series, I believe you’ll come up with the right and perfect title. Your writing ROCKS and your willingness to continue running is fantastic.

  7. Auntie Pat says:

    Your blogs are better than most of the sermons I hear at my church. Then again I guess I am a little prejudice. I do hope you continue. Love ya

  8. Melissa says:

    I love reading your posts and hope they continue!

  9. Pat Sincox says:

    I am so far behind on the blog that I am embarrassed. But I do not want you to stop!! Maybe I will over the next ten days that I need to read that you have come up with a new blog name or just Another 100 Days. Just keep it going, because it works for me, too.

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