Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Run/ Walk/ Bike/ Elliptical (Today: 0.00 miles; Running Total: 130.67 miles)
Day 187 of *Another* 100 Days of Good Karma.
I have a ton of tests and doctor’s appointments coming up in preparation for surgery on January 28th.
On Thursday I have a PET scan, an anesthesia assessment (whatever that is) and an appointment with the plastic surgeon.
On Friday I have a (yet another) mammogram and ultrasound.
All of these are taking place early in the morning and downtown. This means I have to leave at dark-thirty to beat Houston traffic and get there on time.
Yaaay Houston. (*shudder*)
This will be my second PET scan. The first PET scan (way back on Day 18) determined if the cancer had metastasized to any other organs in my body. This PET scan is to determine how well the cancer responded to chemotherapy.
PET scan stands for Positron Emission Tomography. Here’s what it looks like.
A radiotracer is injected through an IV. According to the pre-PET scan instructions, “This allows the PET scanner to ‘see’ where sugar metabolizes in your body.”
(I’m not fully versed in the relationship between sugar and cancer, so please, don’t ask. There are about a billion myths surrounding this relationship that the dieticians at my doctor’s office have assured me are false. And yet, tests like this exist. It’s very confusing, and I would probably understand more if I went to medical school and became an oncologist. Which I’m probably not gonna do.)
After the injection I wait 90 minutes while the radiotracer is absorbed into my body then I go into the scanner.
The entire appointment takes around 3 hours, but I’m only in the scanner for 40 minutes.
Later, the radiotracer is eliminated through the kidneys and bladder, so I’ll be drinking a ton of water afterwards.
For a short period of time after the scan I am cautioned not to be around pregnant women, children under the age of two or to fly. Presumably because of my radioactive pee. Damn. There go my afternoon plans of boarding planes and urinating on pregnant women and toddlers.
I can’t eat or drink anything six hours prior to the scan other than plain unflavored water.
Fasting is my least favorite pre-test preparation. I embody the word ‘hangry’ when I don’t eat. I will likely growl and snap at total strangers for looking at me wrong.
My last meals before the scan should be high protein, low carbohydrate foods. So that means today I avoid anything remotely resembling fun. This includes bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, fried foods, fruits, juices or sweets of any kind. Which means I want a donut like a crack head wants another hit.
This list also includes coffee. Which leads me to say, FUCK YOU, PET SCAN DESIGNERS. FUCK YOU AND THE CAFFIENE-PROHIBITION HORSE YOU RODE IN ON.
*flings fists into the air and waggles both middle fingers*
On the plus side, I can have all the bacon I want. It doesn’t make up for the no-coffee rule, but it isn’t the world’s worst consolation prize either.
I’ve also been instructed to NOT exercise for 24 hours before the scan. This is because after exercise the radiotracer could be absorbed differently into the muscles. This could lead to a botched test.
In conclusion: No carbohydrates, no exercise, and no coffee.
Today’s silver lining: Bacon.
What’s your silver lining today? I love comments!
Don’t want to leave a comment, but have something you want to share? Send me an email at gettingthewordswrong(at)gmail(dot)com.