• Another 100 Days of Good Karma: Day 251 (Radiation Treatment 11 of 30: Finishing What I Start)

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    Thursday, March 19, 2015

    Run/ Walk/ Bike/ Elliptical (Today: 0.00 miles; Running Total: 208.29 miles)

    Day 251 of *Another* 100 Days of Good Karma.

    I did the same boot camp workout as Tuesday. Let me tell you, it wasn’t any easier than Tuesday. I was sweating so bad it was dripping off my glasses. But I finished.

    There was a nursing student at my radiation appointment today. She was very sweet but she was also very small. All I could think of was the student that dropped the electron cone on someone. I sincerely hoped I wouldn’t become a teaching moment. Those things look heavy.

    Today I also felt little snaps of pain during treatment.  It happened twice and only on my right side so I don’t think I’m imagining it.  The first time it happened I felt it just below my collar bone. I jumped because it scared me.  The second time I felt it was along my ribcage.  It feels like a quick nerve twinge and then it’s gone.  But I’m always on edge waiting for the next time it happens.

    Eleven treatments down. Nineteen to go.

    I spent the rest of the day redlining a hard copy of a story I’ve been working on. Yesterday I talked about how a paper planning system works best for me. The same thing holds true for editing a story. I printed the entire thing, then went at it with a pencil.

    I know the changes I want to make. Now I just have to implement them. I should be done with those changes by the end of the weekend. Then I’ll make a final pass at the story next week.

    It seems like I’ve been working on this story forever. It’s short, but I’m slower at fiction than I am at blog posts. Fiction and blogging are very different animals. I’m one step closer to finishing the story now though.

    I’m always a little (a lot) embarrassed to talk about my fiction writing. It feels like I’m doing something dirty behind closed doors. But I’m going to out myself: I haven’t been finishing anything.

    I’ve written a couple of stories in the last six months but I haven’t followed through and truly finished them. And by ‘finish’ I mean ‘I can’t think of anything else to do to them’.

    I always move on to the next story before the first one is really done. I decided this story would be different. I would not put it away until I couldn’t think of anything else to do to it. Until it was done.

    Some days I want to nuke the damn thing. It would be so easy to flush it down the drain. Just Select All and tap the Delete button. No one would know if I moved on to the next story.

    But, I would know. And the incomplete story would haunt me, just like all the carcasses of the other dead stories I’ve buried in my backyard.

    To keep myself moving forward I re-read Chuck Wendig’s post, Why It’s Important To Finish Your Shit. And then I pictured him sitting in the corner of the room throwing colorful balls at me every time I wanted to quit.

    It worked.

    Today’s silver lining: Another step closer to finishing what I started.

    What’s your silver lining today? I love comments!

    Don’t want to leave a comment, but have something you want to share? Send me an email at gettingthewordswrong(at)gmail(dot)com.

    xoxo,

    Meghan

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4 Responsesso far.

  1. Melissa says:

    What bootcamp workouts are you doing?

  2. heartsnsparkles says:

    Hi Meghan, I just stumbled across your blog from a link on Rowdy Kittens I believe it was. Wonderful writing, with a lot of thought-provoking statements. Thank you!

    My silver linings… Friday would be the top of the list, and it being the second summer 1/2 day Friday hours gives that silver lining just a little more sparkle – even with the snow!

    Wishing you well! 🙂

    L

    • Meghan says:

      Welcome to the blog, L! I love Tammy’s blog, and I’m so glad you stopped by. You’re so right. Half day hours definitely add sparkle to a Friday. Enjoy! ~Meghan

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