• Another 100 Days of Good Karma: Day 292 (Going Forward? I Don’t Know. Yet.)

    lifelivedforward

    Wednesday, April 29, 2015

    Run/ Walk/ Bike/ Elliptical (Today: 3.20 miles;  Running Total: 263.21 miles)

    Day 292 of *Another* 100 Days of Good Karma.

    Several people have asked what the going forward plan is, so I’ll address that today.

    Here’s the thing… I don’t know yet.

    I meet with my oncologist and regular surgeon (not the plastic surgeon) on Monday to have blood work done and talk to them about a monitoring plan.

    The cancer center I go to is really good at piece-mealing out information.

    In the beginning I said, “I want to know the whole treatment picture.”

    When they tried to explain the whole picture to me I found myself completely overwhelmed. I have since learned that they will tell me what I need to know when I need to know it. Relinquishing this sort of control hasn’t been easy, but it makes cancer more manageable.

    My job is to try and see each part of treatment in smaller, easier-to-swallow chunks.

    Looking back the parts are easy to see:

    • Part 1: testing to see what type of cancer I was facing.
    • Part 2: twelve weeks of Paclitaxol, the first chemotherapy drug.
    • Part 3: twelve weeks of FAC, the second set of chemotherapy drugs.
    • Part 4: recover from chemotherapy and wait for surgery.
    • Part 5: surgery.
    • Part 6: recover from surgery and start the reconstruction process.
    • Part 7: radiation.
    • Part 8 (the part I’m in now): recover from radiation and wait for the monitoring plan.

    I know there are other parts of the process that I can’t see yet. I don’t know if I still have cancer. I don’t know what sort of monitoring or tests are coming up. I don’t know what reconstruction surgery.

    I accept that I haven’t gotten to those parts yet and no amount of worrying on my part will change or speed up the process.

    Today’s silver lining: I know I’m still here. I know I’m feeling stronger and less fatigued every day.

    Today, that’s good enough.

    What’s your silver lining today?

    I love comments!

    xoxo,

    Meghan

    Don’t want to leave a comment, but have something you want to share?  Send me an email at gettingthewordswrong(at)gmail(dot)com.

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