Saturday, August 16, 2014
Day 36 of 100 Days of Good Karma.
I have a binder full of rules for living with cancer.
Somewhere within the depths of this rule book is a note saying shaving with a razor is a no-no.
The risk of infection is too high if I cut myself. Also my blood doesn’t clot as well while I’m on chemotherapy.
At first I thought: Woo! Off the hook for shaving!
Then: Wait. It’s August. In Texas.
I can’t wear long pants all the time. I’d have a heat stroke just walking from the house to my car.
And I can’t go around in shorts looking like a sasquatch.
I’m not one of those people who has the luxury of shaving only when they remember to.
You know the ones I’m talking about.
They might look at their razors every two or three weeks, and then they shrug nonchalantly at the divine blessing of having leg hair that feels like a soft down.
I can shave in the morning and have the equivalent of a man’s five o’clock shadow on my calves by days end.
Then there’s the added joy of having a skin tone one shade lighter than White-Out and leg hair the color of soot. More than a day of not shaving makes my legs look like a wire scrub brush.
Besides, I feel disgusting when my leg hair grows out. Even if I’ve just stepped out of a long, hot shower, if I didn’t shave my legs then I feel gross.
So I can’t just not shave.
I went back to my rule book looking for a solution. It recommended using an electric razor.
So I gave it a shot.
Shaving with a regular razor is a delicate act. It’s feminine and pretty.
Shaving with an electric razor is about as sexy as shearing a sheep.
I had plenty of time to think while I ran the humming razor over (and over and over) my legs. Plenty of time to wonder: Why can’t the hair loss part of chemotherapy be more targeted?
I want to keep some body hair. Namely the hair on my head, eyelashes and eyebrows.
The rest of it can go.
Seriously, what purpose does toe hair serve?
Today’s silver lining: Amazon’s Prime two-day delivery service.
Justin’s going to need some new blades for his Norelco.
What’s your silver lining today? I love comments!