Thursday, September 18, 2014
Day 69 of 100 Days of Good Karma.
Hi. My name is Meghan and I’m addicted to Facebook.
It started out innocently enough.
I signed up for Facebook on my computer at home and found lots of people I knew. I lurked around old high school classmate’s pages just to see what they were up to.
I collected people and called them Friends.
I posted all the time. Sometimes about nothing at all.
And then came the Facebook app for my phone.
This was great.
My phone already went with me everywhere. Now I could instantly respond to any of my Friends’ posts.
I even gave Facebook it’s own sound alert and my heart leapt with joy to hear that little *pop*.
I couldn’t stop.
Facebook was the first app I pulled up each and every time I looked at my phone.
I checked Facebook first thing in the morning. It was the last thing I checked at night. I looked at it during commercial breaks or pauses in conversation.
I looked at it when my kids weren’t talking to me. And, I’m ashamed to admit, sometimes when they were.
That I was trolling Facebook while I could have been spending time with my kids should have been a red flag.
But I ignored the warning signs.
I became frustrated when no New Stories appeared at the top of my News Feed.
I reminded myself I just looked at Facebook five minutes ago and maybe nothing worth mentioning happened in that time.
But it didn’t matter.
I craved New Stories like the paparazzi crave pictures of starlets tripping on the red carpet.
I had a vague sense that I was missing something during all those moments I spent thumb-scrolling through Facebook.
Dissatisfaction crept in and I wondered how I used to fill life’s little down moments.
I tried to quit once. I disabled Facebook only to go back two weeks later.
I liked staying connected to friends (not just Friends) and family, but I didn’t like the compulsory nature of my addiction.
So I tried another tactic: I uninstalled Facebook from my phone.
Craziness, I know.
But it worked.
If I really want to check Facebook, I can turn on my computer and look.
A vague anxiety I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying around abated.
I found uninterrupted time to read again. To hang out with my kids and watch them perform magic shows.
I slowly awakened to the idea that I didn’t need Facebook to fill each and every moment.
If I find myself standing in a long, boring line I still pull out my phone, but now I read a book.
Today’s silver lining: Taking breaks from technology.
Facebook is great, but sometimes it’s nice to unplug.
What’s your silver lining today? I love comments!